Attack of the Gnomes

One morning last month, a woman in Springfield, Oregon stepped out of her house to discover that her front yard had been invaded. By garden gnomes. Seventy-five of the aggressively cute little munchkins had waited all night for the woman to make an appearance, staring down her front door with their cold, concrete eyes.

Just thinking of it gives me the shivers.

As it turns out, the gnomes had been kidnapped from lawns across Springfield and relocated by an unknown prankster. According to this article, while "small-time gnome theft" is common in Oregon, the authorities have never before seen a crime of this magnitude. Though suspects have not been identified, I believe it may have been the work of The Garden Gnome Liberation Front.

Today, the gnomes are in the custody of the Springfield police, waiting for their rightful owners to come claim them.