Friday, October 31, 2008

My Secret Fear: EGGS

INCREDIBLE? MAYBE. EDIBLE? NEVER.

I have long been of the opinion that nothing good can come from a chicken butt. As a result, I have not touched an egg since I was seven years old. Why seven, you ask? I had barely reached that tender age when a particularly malicious nanny forced me to eat . . . gag . . . an egg salad sandwich. The result was not pretty. Though it did make a rather interesting pattern on her pink sweater.

What's my problem with eggs? Let's start with . . . everything. Their size, shape, smell, taste, origin (again, chicken butt). It's not that I'm allergic. It's just that I'm fairly sure they're evil. Only Satan could create a food product so perfectly revolting.

But now that I am an adult, (I think), it's time that I came to terms with my egg phobia. Other childhood culinary foes (beets, vegemite, haggis) have already been conquered. Eggs are the last frontier.

Yet, had it not been for Ms. Lauren Myracle, I might never have summoned the courage to take this all-important step. And I certainly would never have gone so far as to taste the dreaded FRIED EGG. Oozing with greasy yellow nastiness, fried eggs have long featured in my worst nightmares. I have never, ever, ever considered putting one in my mouth. I would have rather sucked down a sautéed slug. A caramelized cockroach. Or a broiled dung beetle.

Until today . . . .

SEE PICTURES BELOW (Sorry, camera broke! Had to take them with my blackberry!) I'm wearing sunglasses you you can't see my tears.











The Result of this Cruel Experiment:

You're all lucky that my photographer refused to follow me into the bathroom where I deposited the rest of the egg exactly where it belonged--the toilet! Never again. Trust your fears, people. You have them for a reason!

23 Comments:

Blogger Lady Dahlia said...

Interesting fear. I can't stand to eat most types of eggs. It's pretty much just scrambled for me.

I recently noticed that you can spell Kiki Strike out of your first name alone (doubling certain letters, of course).

K-I-R-S-T-E-N

Does Kiki's middle name start with an N by any chance?

7:34 PM  
Blogger Jin Ai said...

lady dahlia: Oh cool, I never noticed!!

I cracked up when I read that blog post. I'm very proud of you!!
rofl.

What's wrong with the appearance? I can imagine not liking how it looks once you crack it, but the outside is so white and smooth and round 8D

7:55 PM  
Anonymous mei said...

Ooh! Lauren was right then with the deviled eggs. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS KIRSTEN!!! You faced your fear! Take that eggs and mean nanny!

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a similar fear, but it was just of omelettes since one made me vomit when I was about seven years old. I didn't try one again for about 14 years after that, but yum now - so delicious.

Way to go on facing your fear though!

9:55 PM  
Anonymous dangerous said...

EGGS. I did laugh a bit, I'm afraid. poor you. What did you do to the nanny? I mean, after the sweater-ruining. Well, i took the doll around with me tirck-or-treating (when you're relativly short and wearing makup, you're NEVER too old!), and my fear has been slightly lessened. slightly. Thanks for the idea eternal!

10:05 PM  
Blogger sakura said...

eggs are creepy to me I can eat a few bites, but then it just looks and feels disgusting, so I end up throwing them away.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Kitty said...

Eggs... Yes, purely evil. I don't usally eat eggs either [my parents have to stuff them down me -.-'] but congrats on facing your fear!! ^^

11:44 PM  
Blogger Irregular Kiki said...

Oh, you poor thing! I'm not a big fan of eggs either. But I eat it when I have to. And the fact that it came from MY chickens was so cute that sometimes I was forced to eat it. But if I don't HAVE to eat egg, I won't. But of course I eat cake and cookies and dessert which include egg.
I haven't got anything against it, I just don't enjoy it.

I must say, you are very brave. Having eggs as a fear is one huge fear. And I can imagine how 'vomitful' you must have felt.

Do you eat cakes and desserts which include egg?

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get well soon

12:05 AM  
Blogger Dante's.Inferno said...

YEAH!!!!!!! Way to go, Kirsten! Way to show that egg who's boss! It's really sad, but I actually went out trick or treating this year. God as my witness, this is my last year.
~Macy

12:33 AM  
Anonymous Carmela:D said...

KIRSTEN!! I WANT TO SEE YOU DANCE THE THRILLER DANCE BACKWARDS!! You can wear a gorilla costume too. Didn't you tell Lauren that "you had indeed done so on too many occasions to count?" So PLEASE(!) post a video like Lauren did. PLEASE??? ;3

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ugh. I share your disgust for eggs. Though I feel that scrambled are the worst. I also despise:
Breakfast Suffles
Ranch Dressing
Mashed Potatoes
and Raisin and Carrot Salad.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ick.
i hate fried eggs.
they're so oily, and weird looking and i've never actually thrown up by eating one...but i've come pretty close. but then again the most freid egg i've ever aten is a few bites.

4:07 PM  
Blogger liltomboyblue11;) said...

Oh wow... I don't like eggs either, but because I am a life long vegetarian, I am forced to eat them as a source of protein. x( I don't mind them as much as you do, but I certainly don't like them.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Ayla said...

I agree with you. Eggs are horrible.
*shudders*

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eggs are ok. But crackng an egg and findinG a shell is NOT ok.

11:12 PM  
Blogger Arsenic said...

Eggs... hmmm... Never heard that one before. Well I love eggs (especially when I've gone on a sugar bender and I need protein) But to each her own phobia I guess. Good job on facing it!!!

1:38 PM  
Anonymous ss chick said...

well done! i... er... i dont really have any majot phobias, i guess. i mean, sure, therre are little fears, but not a big one, so good job! ps: i find it awesome kiki's name is an anagram from your name. I LOVE ANAGRAMS!

but i, too, dislike eggs. sometimes scrambled, but only a couple bites at that, and NO OTHER WAT EVER! once i had to eat a quiche. EEEWWWWW! >P disgusting. i also dont like ham. sometimes i take a bite and immediatly have to spit it out because it FEELS LIKE PIG! ew, and i saw a dead deer the other day and i couldnt eat meat for weeks. im ok now, though.

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Kad said...

The only fear I have ever really had is of storms. Tornado's mostly. My mom made me go to a stupid Physciatrist or however you spell it. I hated it. So I pretended that I wasent really scared anymore and she dident make me go anymore. HAHA. lol anyway Good job on facing your fear of eggs Kirsten. Although I like boiled eggs and Deviled eggs.

8:46 PM  
Blogger MysteryPoet**AuthorInTheMaking123 said...

For me, personally, I have a huge fear of those algae eaters that suck on the fish tanks. Looking at one would probably make me gag on food when the thought of it pops into my head for a week or longer! Man, I hate those things, with the exception that they keep fish tanks clean!

6:02 PM  
Anonymous jenna said...

Wow, you look really nice!

5:16 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Hi there! I had to post on here because I have never come across anyone else who is truly Ovaphobic! I HATE eggs - the look, smell, feel (I've never eaten one). I can't even pick up a box of eggs in the shop! I can't believe you faced you fear (even though it ended badly), I could never bring myself to eat one... Go you!

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you completely. I'm terrified of eggs. I can't even be in the same room as them without gagging. They are definately crafted by the devil. I don't care how they're cooked. Poison!!!

6:42 PM  

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