Snails: Friends or Foes?

(Above: Snails providing hours and hours of wholesome entertainment.)

I was going to write a nice long post about Bigfoot today, but I think I shall save that for tomorrow and turn my attention to one of nature's smallest creatures. (But you probably already knew that, since almost all of you appear to be psychic. If you ever have any prophetic dreams about me, I insist that you send me a note!)

The humble snail (shown above) has long been the butt of jokes. However, today we must peer deep into our own hearts and ask ourselves: Do they really deserve this abuse?

The Case FOR Snails:

They make excellent objet d'art: British artist Slinkachu has been decorating the shells of average snails and setting the little beasties loose in London. How cool would it be to look down and see something like this . . .




Also, they actually CAN deliver the mail. (If you're ready to wait for them.) The good folks at boredomresearch.net have created the world's first webmail service using real snails. Their fastest postal worker, a snail named Austin, averages a 1.96 day delivery time!

And, of course, snails taste magnifique! I love escargot, but my favorite snails are whelks, which are best enjoyed with a little mayonnaise.

However, the case AGAINST snails is quite serious:

The truth is, snails are quite disgusting to behold, and they can gobble up a garden in no time. They've also been known to display homicidal tendencies.

And don't forget the Giant Chupacabras Snail. Shudder. Imagine finding that in your lettuce . . .




Nasty!