It's Summertime, When a Lady's Thoughts Naturally Turn to . . . SHARKS

(Above: I wish I knew whom to credit for this amazing picture.)

So far this summer, four swimmers have been attacked near the Mexican beach resort of Zihuantanejo (not far from Acapulco), and one expert has come up with a macabre explanation. Jose Leonardo Castillo, chief shark investigator for Mexico’s National Fishing Institute, thinks it's possible that the area's sharks "HAVE DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR HUMANS."

This, of course, would contradict the majority of shark experts, who've been trying for years to convince us that sharks aren't fond of human flesh. According to this article at livescience.com, "Humans don't taste good. Sharks prefer blubber. Shark teeth are lined with nerve endings that can sense the calorie-rich blubber of a seal as opposed to the bone and muscle filling most humans."

Likely story. Every halfway intelligent five-year-old knows that humans taste just like chicken.

So it's a good thing that I came across this handy weapon. The WASP Injector Knife has a gas-filled canister inside its handle. Should you encounter one of the beasts of the deep, one quick jab will inject the shark with a painful pocket of gas and force it float to the surface of the ocean.

Make sure you strap one to your ankle before you jump on that surfboard. Or, at the very least, cook up a bit of homemade shark repellent. (I love Mike Rowe from the show Dirty Jobs.)