Is This a Face You Can Trust?

Above: Weather forecaster or evil genius?

I think not! I, for one, have never bought into this whole Groundhog Day business. According to my research, groundhogs (alias: "woodchucks") are actually enormous squirrels--and therefore not to be trusted. When they're not spending time in the company of weathermen and meteorologists (two of the shiftiest, most perfidious types around), they're huddled away underground, cooking up evil schemes.

So when America's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, emerged from his burrow today and "claimed" to see his shadow, I refused to believe his prediction of six more weeks of winter. In fact, I sense a conspiracy. Who is that man in the top hat, what do we really know about him, and how did he learn how to speak groundhogese?

Besides, why would I listen to some overgrown rodent from Pennsylvania when New York City supposedly has it's own weather-predicting groundhog? His name is Staten Island Chuck, and he appears to keep a very low profile. But I know one thing--he wouldn't risk his reputation predicting six more weeks of winter when New York City hasn't seen a speck of snow this season!

UPDATE: I just saw the local news. Staten Island Chuck DID NOT see his shadow! And according to the Staten Island Zoo, he's the most accurate groundhog in the country!