Saturday, February 02, 2008

Is This a Face You Can Trust?

Above: Weather forecaster or evil genius?

I think not! I, for one, have never bought into this whole Groundhog Day business. According to my research, groundhogs (alias: "woodchucks") are actually enormous squirrels--and therefore not to be trusted. When they're not spending time in the company of weathermen and meteorologists (two of the shiftiest, most perfidious types around), they're huddled away underground, cooking up evil schemes.

So when America's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, emerged from his burrow today and "claimed" to see his shadow, I refused to believe his prediction of six more weeks of winter. In fact, I sense a conspiracy. Who is that man in the top hat, what do we really know about him, and how did he learn how to speak groundhogese?

Besides, why would I listen to some overgrown rodent from Pennsylvania when New York City supposedly has it's own weather-predicting groundhog? His name is Staten Island Chuck, and he appears to keep a very low profile. But I know one thing--he wouldn't risk his reputation predicting six more weeks of winter when New York City hasn't seen a speck of snow this season!

UPDATE: I just saw the local news. Staten Island Chuck DID NOT see his shadow! And according to the Staten Island Zoo, he's the most accurate groundhog in the country!


Blogger International Mastermind said...

I wanted to have a groundhog day party, but my friends blushed, whispered to others that I was mentally damaged, and shook their heads. Anyway- MA always has more winter than we deserve.
It's all the weatherman's fault!

3:55 PM  
Blogger SAMEANANYMOUS said...

never ever trust the wether man

4:07 PM  
Blogger Mysterie said...

Our winter here JUST started, I mean, we had NO rain until 2 weeks ago, then there was the 'biggest storm in 100 years' (according to the weatherman, who, like the groundhog, I do not trust)It was really cool though!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Raph said...

Definitely evil genius. xD

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Ariana(having computer issues) said...

Last year the groundhog said early spring, but we got a lot snow in may!!

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Sly and cunning said...

Weather men lie, and so do ground hogs, they always say its gonna snow or rain or sleet mouintains and NOTHING HAPPENS. Lesson: Weather men and anyone who thinks they can predict weather are probably trying to get somthing or prove u r gullible

7:03 PM  
Blogger Jin Ai said...

Haven't you guys read the thing in The Empress's Tomb about how to predict the weather??

7:53 PM  
Blogger Kitty said...

once the weather man said there was gonna have a hurricane. And NJ hadn't had a hurricane in like, several hundred years ago? I actually missed the snow. NEVER TRUST THE WEATHER MAN!

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Hazel said...

Well, if you look "meteorologist" up in the dictionary, the first definition is "evil genius," the second "criminal mastermind," and only the last " weather scientist."

1:53 AM  
Anonymous Kad said...

For some reason this post cracked me up. I was seriously laughing my head off. I think it has to be Evil Genius.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


in winter the only thing that happens here in winter is a gloomy sky and 2 much rain. i can't stand it anymore.


3:06 PM  
Anonymous dangerous said...

wait, they have groundhogs in a zoo? as in, the place with the cool animals like parrots and polar bears and not the overgrown squirrels you can easaly see in your backyard? I DO NOT TRUST THE WEATHERMAN. i was going to go snow-tubing, but the weatherman said it would rain so we had to cancel. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THAT LITTLE OVERIMAGINATIVE, VACATION-RUINING, NINCOMPOOP.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous laura said...

grounhogs are ginormous squirrels? that makes me very uncomfortable. i now have the image in my head of jabba the hutt the squirrel...which is basically a groundhog. interesting.

11:12 AM  
Anonymous Patsee said...

xD Groundhog conspiracy theories... Gotta love 'em!

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

phil is a phraud.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey I don't trust him ether!!!! Though all of my friends think I'm nuts. But hey Everyone knows I'm nuts!:)

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY!!!!! I'm Back! You know anonymous! And Well I'm still alittle nuts but hey! And I still Don't trust him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Either way I like spring alought! lastly KIKI YOU ARE MY ROLE MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell Kristen Miller I say HI!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:24 PM  
Blogger Zodiac girls/BR said...

Okay I did the last three posts months ago but me and my girls finally got a blog! I still don't trust him!

6:54 PM  
Anonymous aquene said...

=) lol

3:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home